This is me, in all my orange and black, Oriole fanatics. As you can see and many of you already know, I don't technically "fit in" in today's society. But you know what? I don't really care. I was inspired by a friend's facebook status which read:
"I may not be the most beautiful, or the sexiest, nor do I have the perfect body. I might not be everyone's first choice, but I'm a great choice. I don't pretend to be someone I'm not, because I'm good at being me. I might not be proud of some of the things I've done in the past, but ...I'm proud of who I am today. Take... me as I am or watch me as I walk away!"
You know what's sad, too often in today's society do women (and men too) forget this. We forget that we are made in God's image, that we look the way we look because we were fashioned in God's image and each of us is a wonderful masterpiece. We focus to much on our flaws, we are all guilty of this, I tend to focus on my fat and my freckles. While I am trying to lose the weight and have come to the realization I am stuck with the freckles, everyday I forget to look at what truly makes me beautiful. I'm a freak, I am a Hard core Catholic, die-hard, scream my heart out, Orioles fan who listen to Christmas music year round, and would do anything for the people in my life, child of God.
I have decided that I have my priorities all wrong, I have been focused on finding my future husband since my last break up years ago. I have been down many wrong roads, tried Internet dating, nothing has worked. I'm not giving up I just finally listened to God. He's been trying to tell me to wait for Him. I am always worried about "my time" when really I should be on God's time. So I have closed my Internet dating profiles and decided to no longer look, just pray and listen to God speak. It's like my "theme song" Haven't Met You Yet by Michale Buble says "Where ever you are, WHEN EVER IT'S RIGHT, you'll come out of no where and into my life".
Last week I had my facebook status as "I think I was born in the wrong decade", I'm old fashioned, I HATE going out to bars, I really don't think I'm going to find my Mr. Right at a bar (unless it's Theology on Tap). I hate the crowds, I hate being hit on, it's not for me, I am totally uncomfortable and don't like it, so I don't go and my friends don't seem to understand that. I have to do what's right for me. I'm different, I don't fit the mold, I sew, I bake, I really think I may have done better in the 1950's, but truth is, God had me live in this life time for a reason and I'm going to do my best to follow His path for me.
Another thing that makes me sad is how much the media portrays sex. I have to admit, I am addicted to Jersey Shore, most of us are, but who really wants to live life that way? It may be funny to watch them do it, but who wants to use sex and drinking like that? What satisfaction are the getting? Nothing long term that's for sure, they want the immediate satisfaction where me, I want to fight to live my life the way I was raised to and suffer here on earth so that I can have eternal life in heaven with my God and my loved ones. That is the greatest joy. I was at the doctor's today (I have a sinus infection), and before he would put me on anti-biotics of course he has to ask me "the questions", any chance I could be pregnant, am I on birth control, etc to which the answer was clearly to me, NO. We live in a world today where these are questions that have to be asked, the doctor doesn't know my personal beliefs, I don't have Catholic Virgin stamped across my forehead, I just hate that in today's society people look at you and "assume" you've had sex. I haven't and I'm proud of that.
I also hate how t.v. depicts sex and that being a virgin is "bad" or "embarrassing", I think that pretty much everyone who knows me, learns my opinion and beliefs relatively soon after speaking with me. I am determined to save my self for marriage and I'm proud of that and if I would have to for some reason, I would scream it from the mountain tops because it's NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF!
Sometimes society gets me down, sometimes I look at a magazine and think, I wish I could look like that, sometimes my own sisters make fun of me because I "dress like a nun" because I prefer the modest look.
I need to remember to let it roll off my back. I'm not perfect, I have flaws, I have a mouth like a sailor, I really don't like going to Confession, you may even go as far as to say my love for the Orioles is a bit of a flaw, I know it is, but I don't care. This is me, it's who I am, it's who God put me on this earth to be. I am His instrument, I am here to get His word out, go forth and evangelize. In a way I'd like to think I am with this blog.
Truth is, many people in the world are like me, we hang in the background and let the "stars" take the spot light. Think for a moment of who your heroes are, think of what they do, I'm not saying all people are bad, some of us have really awesome heroes, but maybe some of you should take a step back and re-evaluate. Are the people you hold to a higher regard someone you would like to be like? Maybe you should think about the people in the Bible. Maybe someone you know at your church who is striving to life a good God driven life.
For me, my heroes are my Nana, JP2, Mother Theresa, my mom, my Pop-Pop, Cal Ripken Jr, St. Bernadette, St. Maria Goretti and Mother Theresa. As for the example I set? I am the oldest of three girls, I have 8 younger cousins, I teach kindergarten CCD, I want to be the kind of person that these people can look up to, I want to set a good example. I think I am. These people may never come up to me and ask me about my choices or talk to me about anything personal, but maybe I can make a silent impact on there lives. We are living in difficult times, people think the end of the world is in 2012, I personally don't believe it, but what if it's true, are you ready? What will St. Peter say to you? No one knows, we can not judge, we will all be judged one day and no one person (unless you are Mother Theresa or Pope John Paul the Great) can pretty much guarantee you will be allowed through the pearly gates, but is it something you are willing to risk for just a few moments of satisfaction on earth? I want to spend my eternity with my dearly departed grandfathers who were taken from me too soon, I want to spend it talking and walking with Jesus and I am not willing to through that away for a night of passion. No way, sad thing is, many people these days just don't understand that. I will pray for you all tonight. Whether you needed to read this or not, if I offended you, so what, I already stated, I don't fit in :-D
