Joy in the Journey

I must be the most unloveable person in the world. There is no joy in the journey to 25 when you are always alone. The shit people talk about saying people will fall in love with you because of your personality is crap. The world is all about looks. Lets face it, I don't have them. I wish I didn't live in such a shallow society. I'm always going to be alone, I better get freaking use to it. The only problem I have with it is how much the thought of never getting married or having children makes my body ache. I guess sometimes no matter how much you pray to God, the answer will sometimes be no. I can't convience my heart of that though. It's breaking.

I guess I'll just keep watching my Orioles, lets face it, they are the only thing I love that won't break me in two. No matter how bad they play, they are right back the next day to make me smile again.

I just wish that this husband thing was one thing God would say yes to. I don't think I ask for a whole thought, I guess I do though.